I rarely write in the midst of crisis but I’ve gotta get it out. This blog is to try to get people to understand the effects of rape and PTSD so no filters here
I f******g hate my brain! I’m going out for dinner with a friend tomorrow night and she suggested a restaurant I have been to with my mother and her selfish prick who should rot in a swamp. I froze as soon as the name of the restaurant was suggested. THAT is what PTSD is! I do not yet have the freedom to go through a day without fears and triggers.
I was frozen on my couch for a while feeling like a baby who’s not getting her way but holy crap, that is so not the case. It was difficult to explain to my friend what I was feeling nor did I want to be a victim again. I feel like I should “just get over it” because that’s what society tells us to do.
I’m a prisoner to this damn PTSD tonight, stuck in a flashback and trigger. Again, because some lowlife monster was too selfish.