Triggered again

Took a nap, had a nightmare and was stuck in awful place for quite some time. Couldn’t move, couldn’t stop crying, was shaking, couldn’t discern what is reality and what is not.

Sucks that I’m trying to heal but feeling like I’m never going to get better. I’ve been feeling doomed, like I will commit suicide but it’s a just a matter of when. I despise being triggered, worst fucking thing in the world because ALL the pain comes flooding back. Wish I could have died in the nightmare and have it come true. I can’t kill myself because I have four kids.

As usual, a glimpse into the life of someone trying to survive through the repercussions of being raped. Will anybody ever understand the pain?

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