Sure…as if it’s so easy. Throughout life, I have been seeking validation, acceptance, and love from others. Spoiler alert: didn’t get me very far and I never found what I’m looking for from others.
There is not one single day where the effects of being raped are not felt! Let that sink in. Because of one sick selfish prick I am in a fucking prison and the only way to be released is an insane amount of work to heal. I don’t think I will ever find the words to express what my life is like as a result of trauma. Each and every day, my body is in stress response, I am in fight/flight/freeze. A constant feeling of high alert….well, isn’t that healthy 😔 again, all because of a selfish teenager who couldn’t think ahead of consequences and repercussions, this thing had no concept of empathy and I am paying the price.
Here I am in an emotionally abusive marriage because I needed love and validation. It’s not like I could have healed and then gotten married because I don’t think I’ll ever be healed. What matters now is that I am taking baby steps to stand up for myself. Nowhere near self acceptance but I’m finally ready to say that I won’t tolerate being put down any more.
I wish you all the strength to start healing from whatever hurts you and to start taking positive steps to change.
Thanks for listening